I Can't Stay Away
by OneLife2rock
Summary: Something's up with Elliot, can Olivia figure it out? Will they admit their feelings for each other? What'll happen when a psycho targets Elliot... story will be better than the summary, please R&R!.. rated T for now.. eventual E/O.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: hey, so this is my first ever attempt at writing a fan fic.. so yeah, let me know if you want to read more.. if you have any criticism please, feel free to tell me i suck! I'm not really sure if this is any good.. anyways let me know what you think! please and thank youuu!**

Olivia had been wondering what was on Elliot's mind lately. He seemed off, she couldn't quite put her finger on what was bugging him. Whenever she asked him, he said nothing was bothering him, but he was just tired, or some other unbelievable excuse.

In all the years she had known Elliot she had never seen him like this, he was just defeated. She wondered if it was something about the current case that was bothering him. She saw him at the lockers after work, she decided she would ask him what was wrong again, and hope that he would be honest about it this time.

"Hey, what are you doing hanging around here?"

"Just can't get enough of this place I guess."

Olivia laughed noting the sarcasm in his wondered why is he still around, He finished his paperwork over an hour ago, why wouldn't he go home_? _"You know if you ever need someone to talk to you can come to me right?"

"Of Course I know that."

"Then tell me what's going on, I know something is wrong, I can see it in the way your acting recently."

"I DON'T know what you're talking about Liv."

He was starting to get defensive, she knew right then that whatever was bothering him was serious.

"Come on Elliot, is it something at home? Is it something with the kids? Are they alright?"

"It has nothing to do with them, they're fine."

"Well then is it Kathy?"

"Oh, Kathy is doing just great, she couldn't be happier." Elliot's tone had suddenly changed. He sounded angry and hurt.

'What do you mean" Olivia asked a bit confused by the way he had just answered her.

"Nothing, Kathy's fine"

"Okay…." She paused for a bit. "Elliot something is bothering you, I've sensed it for months…. Did something happen with Kathy? You can tell me"

In fact, something had happened with Kathy. Elliot hadn't told anyone the details; maybe he was too embarrassed, maybe he just didn't want to face the reality of it. Either way he didn't plan on telling anyone. He had no idea it was affecting him as much as it was, but it became apparent to him when Olivia started questioning him about the whole mess.

"Can we just drop this, I don't want to talk about it" Elliot asked, getting more annoyed at his partner's reluctance to drop this line of questioning.

Olivia just gave him a concerned look, a look that gave the sense that she wasn't going to be dropping this without a fight. "El I care about you, and I can see that something's obviously bothering you, why won't you just talk to me?"

"Liv, just Drop it" the tension and anger in his voice was growing "It's none of your Damn Business" Elliot snapped at her.

"Excuse Me." Olivia was taken aback by her partner's anger. What had she done wrong? She thought to herself, yes she was being a bit persistent, but nothing that warranted him to snap at her like that.

"You heard me, it's really none of your business" Elliot said coldly

"Oh, I think it becomes my business when you start to let whatever is going on interfere with how you act on the job." Olivia was beginning to angry, she didn't care what was going on, it wasn't an excuse for the way he was acting.

He laughed a bit sarcastically, "Oh, I'm really getting sick of this Liv, you have a problem with the way I act maybe you should find yourself a new partner" Elliot said, almost shouting at Olivia now. Part of him wondered why he was suddenly yelling at his partner, because she cared about him and wanted to see what was wrong?

It was partially an attempt to feel like he was needed, what he wanted Olivia to say in response to his angry outburst was that she would never leave him, that even though they fought they were always partners, and that she'd be there for him no matter how bad things got between them.

It was no secrete that Elliot had a bit of an anger management problem. Olivia knew that, but she had never seen him like this. His eyes seemed cold; she had seen more passion in his eyes when he was interrogating suspects.

Olivia was obviously hurt by Elliot's statement, although she refused to let it show.

"I think that's one of….. no, the best idea you've ever had in fact. I'm SO sick of your attitude, just because you're in a bad mood doesn't mean you need to take it out on me."

At this point Olivia could no longer hide that she was upset, and Elliot could see the pain in her eyes. Suddenly he felt terrible, he didn't mean to hurt her, which was the last thing he wanted to do. Hurt the one person who had always been there for him, who he cared about so much.

He tried to come up with something to say, but before he could Olivia stormed out of the room. And there it was, another thing he had messed up, like everything in his life.

"Can't I Do Anything Right" Elliot asked himself angrily, punching a locker in front of him.

**A/N: Don't forget to Review! :) hope you liked it so far, tell me if you want more.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thanks to everyone for reading & thanks for reviewing! **

Olivia was sitting at her desk; she wondered why Elliot was so late but then remembered how upset she was with him. She started replaying their argument in her head wondering what had caused it to escalate the way it had. Olivia was getting angrier as she kept going over what had happened, she looked up and saw Finn approaching her.

"Hey Liv, where's your partner this morning?"

"I don't know and I really don't care, I'm not his keeper" Olivia snapped.

"Whoa, I can see someone isn't happy with their partner today, what did he do now?"

"Nothing" Olivia didn't feel like explaining what happened to Finn, hell, she didn't even know what exactly had happened between them last night.

"Oh, Sure I believe that" Finn muttered

Olivia just shot him a look.

"Alright, alright, whatever you say" Finn said walking back to his desk.

The last thing Olivia wanted was to talk about Elliot. She was glad he wasn't there, or that's what she told herself. Deep down she was concerned, he was never late, had something bad happened to him?

Elliot opened his eyes, his head was pounding, he looked over and saw the empty bottle of whiskey next to his bed. He stumbled out of bed, and into the kitchen. He turned on the coffee pot and went to take a quick shower, somewhat hoping it would make him feel better. He got out of the shower and looked at the clock, he was late. He hurried to get ready and get to work. Not wanting to think about how things would be with Olivia when he got there.

Despite being angry with him, she still cared about him, he was her best friend, or he had been before he had started acting distant and moody. She would never want anything bad to happen to him.

Her mind started to race, she was just starting to worry about him, when he walked into the squad room. She instantly became infuriated with herself for being worried for no reason when she was supposed to be angry with him.

Elliot walked over to his desk glancing over towards Munch & Finn.

"You look like hell" Munch said to Elliot.

"Yeah, you get hit by a bus or something" Finn joked.

Elliot just glared at them, angrily.

"Apparently Olivia isn't the only one who woke up on the wrong side of the bed today" Finn said to Munch

Munch looked at Finn, "Lovers Quarrel, I'm guessing" he joked shaking his head.

Elliot and Olivia both ignored Munch's comment.

Olivia glanced up at her partner briefly as he sat down, making sure he didn't notice. He did look awful, he had dark circles under his eyes, he hadn't shaved, and he just looked… lost, she thought to herself. She shook this from her mind; she was supposed to be upset with him, not being concerned about his physical appearance.

Elliot sat down at his desk, he wanted to say something to Olivia, but he didn't know what to say, and he didn't feel doing it in front of everyone in the squad room. Olivia hadn't even looked up from what she was doing to look at him. He sat there, staring down at his desk, he hadn't been able to stop thinking about his fight with Liv, why would he take his anger out on her when she was only trying to help. He looked up at Olivia

"Hey Liv, do you think we could talk abou-"

"There's nothing to talk about" Olivia interrupted in a cold tone.

"Liv, come on you know I didn't -"

"I think you made yourself pretty clear last night" she interrupted again.

"Damn it, will you stop cutting me of and let me finish a sentence" Elliot snapped.

"I'm sorry" Olivia said sarcastically, "Last time I checked you didn't want to talk to me, I'm just giving you what you want"

"Come on Liv, you kn-"

Just then Elliot's phone rang.

"Stabler….Okay, We'll be right there"

"Let's go, we've got a case" Elliot said to Olivia.

Olivia got up and followed Elliot into the elevator.

**A/N: sorry it's a short, next chapters will be longer, I promise! Don't forget to review! Or tell me what you think on twitter, OneLife2Rock. Thanks for Reading! **


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed! Thanks for reading! **

* * *

Elliot and Olivia pulled up at the scene and got out of the car, getting out of the car was a relief. The car ride over was filled with awkward silence.

Elliot spotted M.E. Melinda Warner and walked over to her.

"What've we got?" Elliot asked

"A John Doe boy, about 5 or 6, I'd say. He was found in that dumpster over there," she pointed to a dumpster in a small dirty looking ally.

"Cause of death?"

"Probably blunt force trauma to the head, I'll know more when I perform the full autopsy."

Elliot looked around searching for Olivia; he saw her talking to an interesting looking man.

"So you found the body?" Olivia asked the man standing in front of her.

"Yes, I was… uh.. looking for something I had thrown away in the dumpster and I saw…" the man paused.

"The boy?" Olivia finished

"Yeah, so I.. uh, called the cops" the man said.

"Alright, so you said you were looking for something you'd thrown away?" Olivia questioned skeptically.

The man hesitated, "Yeah" he said.

Olivia knew he wasn't telling the truth; she looked up and saw Elliot approaching them.

"Who's this?" he asked Olivia

"Ryan Wilson, he found the body"

"Now what exactly were you doing rummaging around in a dumpster?" Elliot asked suspiciously.

"I was looking for something" Ryan said.

"He claims he was looking for something he threw away" Olivia said to Elliot.

"Oh really? So you live around here?" Elliot asked Ryan.

"Uhh, Yeah" Ryan replied, sounding unsure.

"You know we can find out if you're lying" Elliot said getting a bit annoyed, he could tell this guy wasn't being honest with them.

Ryan sighed, "Fine, I wasn't looking for anything I threw away, I was just… dumpster diving"

"Dumpster diving?" Elliot said with a questioning tone.

"You know, going through trash to find stuff…"

"Stuff? Like what stuff? Elliot questioned.

"Well I've found everything from cameras to jewelry…"

Elliot and Olivia just looked at him..

"Can I… go now?" Ryan asked nervously.

"Sure, you can go" Olivia said to the young man.

* * *

**Later That Night**

Elliot was sitting on the couch, polishing off his third glass of scotch.

He was alone in the total sense of the word; he had managed to alienate the one person who had always put up with his shit… And all because of what? But it was better this way; he had to keep Olivia at arms length, didn't he? He couldn't tell her what happened with Kathy… if he did… it would make it real..

He was still in disbelief; he did not want to admit it was really over, not just because it would be the end of his marriage, no it wasn't that. He had been fighting his true feelings for so long, and telling Olivia.. facing what happened… would mean he'd have to face his true feelings, and he just wasn't ready for that.

* * *

**A/N: ****Don't forget to review! Or tell me what you think on twitter, OneLife2Rock. The more reviews I get the faster I'll update! Thanks for Reading!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Thanks to those who reviewed! Thanks for reading!**

**

* * *

**

**3 Months Earlier**

It was starting to get dark earlier now Elliot noticed as he got out of his car and walked up to the door, it was only 5 P.M, but the sun had already come and gone. He thought back to the last time he had been out of work early to surprise Kathy; it was early in the summer when it seemed to stay light until 8 o'clock.

Him and Kathy had been fighting a lot recently, over stupid things, and of course the thing they always fought about, his job. Elliot had been working late every day, some nights not even coming home, but it was his job and Kathy knew that she couldn't really do anything about his seemingly constant absence.

He opened the door quietly and took off his jacket, he had bought flowers home for his wife; he felt slightly guilty for having to work so much recently even if it wasn't his fault. He went in to the kitchen to put the flowers in some water in the hopes to surprise his wife. He was about to search the house for her when he heard a noise from upstairs.

Elliot smiled, as he walked up the stairs. Kathy will be so surprised to see me home so early he thought as he was walking up the stairs. Elliot walked over to their room, Kathy was probably cleaning, she always seemed to keep the house so clean, he thought.

"Kathy" he opened the bedroom door.

"Elliot!" she exclaimed with terror.

_She was surprised to see him all right. _

Elliot just stood there, staring at his wife with some man; both of them were barely clothed. He pulled the man off the bed and threw him up against a wall and started to hit him.

"Elliot, stop!" Kathy screamed running to the mystery man's aid. She knew that Elliot would kill him if she didn't stop him. She grabbed Elliot and pulled him off of the guy just enough so the guy could bolt out of the house.

"El, it's.. it's not what it looks like" Kathy said

"Really, Kathy? Because I think it's pretty clear what that was" Elliot screamed at her.

"No, it's… he's … we weren't… we didn't…"

"Don't try that shit with me Kathy, I know what I saw... How long?"

Kathy didn't reply she just looked down.

"HOW LONG!" Elliot screamed

"I don't know… a while…"

"A while? What do you mean a while? Weeks?... Months?... YEARS?..." Elliot yelled

Kathy was trying to hold back tears "I never meant to hurt you, you have to believe me, I didn't want this" Kathy cried.

"In our bed… In our bed!" Elliot screamed.

"I'm sorry, El… please" she touched his arm, tears falling down her cheek.

"Don't" Elliot jerked away from her touch. "What if Eli came in and…" Elliot stopped as if a light went off in her head.

Kathy shook her head, "Elliot don't" she was still crying.

"Eli… is he even… " Kathy looked down "The Truth?" He screamed

"I… I… I don't know" she sobbed

"What do you mean, you don't know?"

"You could be the father" she said, not making any eye contact with him.

"That's great Kathy, real nice, you broke every promise we ever made" Elliot yelled.

"You want to talk promises?" Kathy said angrily. "You're never here, and even when you are you don't talk to me, you're not there for me, you never have been" she shouted.

"So now this is my fault?" Elliot shouted

"Maybe if you cared about something other than your job" Kathy accused.

Elliot rolled his eyes. _How dare she try to make this his fault, she was the one who was cheating on him. _"Don't make this about me, you're the one who has been fooling around with god knows how many people" his tone was angry but he was no longer screaming.

"Oh, right, like you and Olivia haven't…"

"Seriously?" Elliot interrupted her, screaming once again. "Just because you would cheat doesn't mean everyone would, she's my partner, I do not have feelings for her! How many times to I have to tell you that!"

Elliot stormed out of the bedroom and headed down the stairs. Kathy ran after him.

"Where are you going?" she yelled after him

"I'm leaving, I can't stand to look at you anymore" he yelled as he was walking out the door.

"Fine! Don't come back!" she yelled slamming the front door.

* * *

**A/N: ****Don't forget to review! Or tell me what you think on twitter, OneLife2Rock. The more reviews I get the faster I'll update! Thanks again for Reading! :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: thanks to everyone who reviewed! I really appreciate it! :) **

* * *

Olivia was lying in bed she couldn't sleep, again. She looked at the clock 3:07AM.

_Why was she letting this fight with Elliot get to her so much? They had fought in the past, but he had never yelled at her the way he did the other night. This fight... there was no reason for it, she hadn't done anything wrong but care about her partner. Maybe that was her problem… she thought… maybe I care too much. Why should I care so much about him? When he yells at me for no reason, after acting like an ass for weeks. Maybe I should request a new partner… It's not like he'd care, he's the one who suggested it. _She felt a tear roll down her cheek.

Stop, don't do this, don't get upset about this, she said aloud. Trying to stop any more tears from falling_. Maybe that was the reason this was bugging her so much, she thought to herself, maybe it was the fact that Elliot had been acting distant, and then mentioned a new partner. Was that what he really wanted? Was his problem with her?... _

She was holding back tears now,_ could that really be it_? She got up to get a glass ofwater from the kitchen.

She walked back into her room and yawned, she put her glass of water down next to her bed and lay down.

She stared up at the ceiling thinking about her and Elliot.

_They'd been partners for so long, but they were so much more than that, they were friends, best friends. Or… they had been. She didn't like to admit it, but she needed him, he's the one person who she can always count on to be there for her… He's the only person she really had…_

There was a knock at her door she jumped. She got up and headed to her door, grabbing her gun cautiously walking to the door.

"Who is it?" She questioned a bit confused. _Who would be at her door at this hour? _She thought.

"Liv, open up, it's Elliot" a voice said from the other side of the door.

_What the hell is he doing here? _She thought to herself.

She opened the door, "Elliot, what are doing here? Do you have any idea what time it is?"

He pushed passed her. "Liv, I haven't been able to stop thinking about what happened, I'm sorry I acted like such a jerk. I'm sorry I yelled at you, I was just…" his voice trailed off.

"What is it El? You know you can tell me anything, I can tell something's been bothering you, I'm worried" She said overwhelmed with concern.

"I haven't been honest with you Liv, for a long time" he said

"What do you mean? What are you talking about" she asked him

"I messed up bad, I did something… and I don't think we can ever be the same again"

"El, what is it?" she asked him touching his shoulder gently.

"I fell in love with my partner" he said gazing into her eyes.

Olivia just stood there, _did he really just say that_? She asked herself.

Elliot could tell she was surprised, "Liv, I love you, I have for so long" he said.

Olivia just stood there, she didn't know what to say, she just stared into his beautiful blue eyes.

He slowly leaned in towards her, and kissed her lips gently. He pulled back and looked at his partner who had a smile on her face. He smiled at her, but quickly her smile turned into a frown.

"Wait, what about Kathy?" she questioned

"Kathy doesn't matter, she won't get in the way of our love any longer, I promise." He said reassuringly.

A huge smile came over Olivia's face. He was just about to kiss her again, when suddenly they were interrupted by a loud noise.

Olivia's alarm clock.

_Damn it! Just a dream. _

If only… she said with a sigh.

* * *

**A/N: Hope you liked it! Please Review! let me know what you think! thanks again for reading! **


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed! Thanks For Reading! **

* * *

Olivia sat up in her bed, incredibly disappointed that her dream was just that, a dream.

Olivia had started to develop feelings for Elliot quite some time ago. She would never breathe a word of it to him, or anyone else, she couldn't.

_How could I think that was real? We could never… he would never feel the same way about me. He's married, he has five kids, and I'm… I'm just his partner. _

Olivia sighed as she got out of bed. _Another day fighting with Elliot _she thought. She hated fighting with him. _ Maybe I was too hard on him; maybe I shouldn't have pushed him. I wonder what he would have said if I hadn't… if I gave him a chance to talk yesterday. Maybe today they would resolve their fight, _She thought. It was stupid to stay mad at him; she really didn't want to fight anymore.

* * *

Olivia walked into the squad room, she saw Elliot sitting at his desk, he was early, which was normal for him. She walked over and sat down at her desk. She looked down at Elliot; he didn't look up at her.

"Warner ever get an ID on that little boy from yesterday?" she asked him, sitting down.

"Nope" Elliot said still not looking up from his desk.

"How is it that no one knows who this boy is? No one's reported any missing kids?"

"None matching his description"

"Any leads on who dumped him?"

"Nope" Elliot still hadn't looked up from his desk.

"Alright" Olivia said getting slightly annoyed.

_Just when I was about to forget about this stupid fight, he won't even look at me, what the hell is his problem? _She thought to herself.

Olivia rolled her eyes and got up. _Why do I even try talking to him? _She wondered.

Elliot looked up at his partner as she was walking away; he got up from his desk and began to follow her. She walked into an empty interrogation room.

_What is she doing? _Elliot wondered.

He walked into the room and shut the door behind him. Olivia spun around.

"What are you doing?" she snapped.

"I may ask you the same thing, why'd you come in here?"

"I don't owe you an explanation "

"Liv, can we stop this?" he reasoned.

"I don't know what you're talking about" she said turning away from him and walking towards the opposite side of the room.

He followed her and put his hand on her shoulder. She shivered slightly at his touch. He turned her around so she was facing him.

"I'm sorry about the other night, I don't know why I yelled at you like that… I do know that I feel terrible about the things I said… Liv you're my best friend." He said taking her hands. "You know me better than I know myself, I don't… I don't know what I'd do if you weren't my friend. I couldn't lose you… I've lost too much"

He looked into her brown eyes searching for her forgiveness.

"What do you mean you've lost too much?" Olivia asked a bit puzzled.

Elliot hesitated looking away from Olivia.

"El, come on, something's bothering you, you say I'm your best friend, you say you don't want to lose me, but if you can't trust me… if you don't let me help you… then I don't really know if that's a great friendship."

"It's not that I don't trust you, don't be ridiculous, of course I trust you…"

"Well then what El?"

Elliot looked away, and then looked back at Olivia.

"It's Kathy," he said hesitatively

"What's wrong, did something happen, is she alright?" Olivia questioned sounding a bit panicked.

Elliot chuckled at Olivia's slightly panicked expression.

"No, it's nothing like that… We're… well… we're getting a divorce" he said plainly.

"What!" Olivia said clearly stunned by Elliot's statement.

Olivia felt her heart start racing; _did he really just say that? Okay… stay calm Olivia _she said to herself. _Maybe I didn't hear him correctly… _

"Yup, we're getting a divorce"

"But… I thought things were okay with the two of you what happened? She said trying to hide the fact that this news quite pleased her.

Elliot looked down, not wanting to explain to his friend that his wife had been fooling around..

"She… she's been cheating on me" he said in a dull tone.

Olivia was speechless; she couldn't believe what she was hearing. She knew Elliot and Kathy had their problems, but she never thought Kathy would do something like this to Elliot.

"Oh El, I'm sorry" she finally managed to say.

"You know she tried to say it was my fault… maybe… maybe it is…"

"No, Elliot" Olivia put her hand on his arm "This isn't your fault, don't let her make you think any different."

"How… how can you say that? I mean maybe if I –"

"Stop" she interrupted firmly, "she cheated, that is not your fault El" she said trying to comfort him. She could see the pain in his eyes; it made her feel horrible to see him hurting this much.

"I… I just can't believe she would do this… I know she wasn't particularly happy with how much I worked, but I thought…" Elliot looked down shaking his head "I thought she loved me… but I guess I'm just a fool" he said

Olivia could tell he was desperately trying to hold back tears.

"El, you're not a fool" Olivia said gently rubbing his arm to comfort him "Kathy she's the fool, she just ruined the best thing she ever had. You're the most amazing man I've ever known, you're a great father, one of the best cops this city has ever seen, you're my partner, my best friend, you're one of the only people I've ever truly trusted … I hate to see you this way, and I will not let you blame yourself for what Kathy did." She looked at him smiling slightly to let him know she meant everything she'd just said.

Elliot looked at Olivia and smiled, he pulled her in and hugged her tight.

"Thanks" he whispered still embracing his partner.

He pulled away after what seemed like forever.

"Sorry I didn't tell you what was going on… I just –"

"Don't worry about it." Olivia said understandingly

"So… we're okay now" Elliot questioned nervously

"What do you think?" she said smiling and giving him the "_obviously_" look.

She turned and walked towards the door.

"Liv" Elliot called out just as she opened the door to leave.

"Yeah" she said turning around to face Elliot

"Thanks again" he said

"Anytime El… anytime" Olivia smiled and walked out of the room.

* * *

**A/N: Hope you liked it! Please review and tell me what you think! I'd love to hear feedback from everyone good or bad! :) **


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: so sorry it took so long to update! thank you so much to everyone who has reviewed! I really do appreciate it! thanks for reading! hope you enjoy! **

**

* * *

**

Olivia walked into the bar, scanning the crowd, she walked over to her friend, Alex Cabot.

"Hey Alex" Olivia said with a giant grin.

"Hey, I see you're in a good mood" Alex said noticing Olivia's mood change.

"What? I can't be in a good mood?" Olivia laughed and rolled her eyes.

Alex gave her a look, "Don't give me that Benson, something's up, I can tell"

"I don't know what you are talking about" Olivia said with a smirk.

"Alright, whatever you say" _I'll find out what's up with her, _she thought.

"So, how was work?" Olivia asked Alex

_What the hell, why is she asking me about work, she never asks me about work… why is she acting so strange? _Alex thought. "Uhh, it was good, I guess, nothing different" Alex replied with a puzzled tone.

"That's good" Olivia said obviously distracted

They ordered their drinks.

"So did you ever get an ID on that boy you found in the dumpster?" Alex asked

"No, which is really strange, I mean.. Who doesn't report a kid missing, I mean sure if his parent's killed him they wouldn't report him missing, but wouldn't they wonder what happened to him at his school, or maybe the neighbors. I don't know it just seems like there's something we're missing."

"Well, I'm sure you guys will figure out who he is" Alex said reassuringly

"Yeah, but it's like this kid, doesn't exist, it's so strange"

"Well there's always something that breaks the case"

"Yeah, that's what Elliot said"

"Speaking of Elliot… are you two still fighting?" Alex asked

"No, we talked and now everything is fine between us"

"Ahh, so that's why you're in such a good mood" Alex laughed

Olivia rolled her eyes " I guess that MAY be part of it, but I mean it's easier to work with him if we're getting along."

"Right..." Alex said sarcastically. "The only reason you're glad you stopped fighting is because of work?" Alex raised an eyebrow and looked at Olivia.

"Well and of course I'm glad because he's my friend" Olivia said stressing the word friend.

"Okay, whatever you say dear" Alex said looking skeptically at Olivia.

"What's that look for"

"Come on, I know how you feel about him"

Olivia sighed, "It's not like it really matters what I do or don't feel for him"

"Yeah, I mean he is married, so that kind of puts a damper on things" Alex said

A smile crept across Olivia's face as she thought about what he had told her earlier and she shrugged her shoulders.

"Wait, what was that?" Alex asked

"What was what?" Olivia questioned a bit confused.

"You smiled and went" Alex said shrugging her shoulders to imitate what Olivia had just done.

Olivia hesitated.

"Come on! What is it you know? You know I'll get it out of you… I'm a lawyer remember?" Alex laughed.

"Alright, well you can't say anything about this to anyone"

"I won't" Alex said quickly.

"Well… El may not be married for much longer" Olivia started

"Oh my God! You're going to kill Kathy!" Alex interrupted

Olivia laughed, "No, would you shut up and listen"

"Sorry" Alex said with a laugh.

"Alright, so apparently him and Kathy are getting a divorce" Olivia said quietly.

"Shut Up!" Alex exclaimed in disbelief.

"Would you keep it down" Olivia snapped

"So that's why you are in such a good mood! Now it all makes sense"

"No, I'm not happy El's marriage fell apart." Olivia said defensively.

"Don't lie to yourself, we both know you're happy he's getting a divorce from that wicked witch" Alex said slightly laughing

Olivia laughed, "No, I hate to see him hurting"

"And you just want to make everything all better for him, don't you?" Alex said raising an eyebrow.

"Shut Up, No Just because he's getting a divorce does not mean anything between us will change. We're just friends, he doesn't see me like that"

"Oh come on, He SO loves you, and if he denies it he's lying to himself"

"This again? He doesn't have feelings for me beyond friendship, god will you stop with the whole he loves you bit, it gets old real quick!"

"I can't help it if you don't want to hear the truth"

"You've been saying this since you first found out how I felt about him, it wasn't true then and it's not true now… okay?"

* * *

Elliot walked in the door to his tiny apartment, he was alone again, part of him hated coming home from work because it meant being in an empty pathetic apartment but tonight seemed different. Somehow he didn't feel as alone as he had recently been feeling.

He threw his jacket down on a chair and walked over to the couch. He sat down and turned on the TV, he searched for something to watch but gave up and turned the TV off. He got up and walked into the kitchen to get a glass of water. He looked at the calendar on the wall.

"Shit!" he exclaimed

He had a meeting with Kathy and the divorce lawyers tomorrow that he had completely forgot about. Kathy had kept postponing the meeting, saying she couldn't make it for some lame reason or another.

_There's no way I'm missing that meeting, I just want this to be over with. _He thought. _I can't believe I told Liv, I didn't want to tell her… but I had to tell her, I hate keeping things from her. I don't know why I didn't tell her sooner. I acted like a jerk and almost lost my best friend and why, why was I so afraid to tell her? ... _He asked himself

_Tomorrow is going to be hell, I have to deal with Kathy… but at least everything will finally be over. _

He hadn't actually seen Kathy since that night he found her with another man. He had however spoken to her on the phone multiple times, most times yelling at her and getting yelled at in return.

Elliot went into his bedroom, and changed out of his work clothes. He layed back on the bed thinking about what Liv had said to him.

_Most amazing man she's ever known huh? She must have really felt bad for me to say something like that. _He thought as he chuckled. _Even if she was lying just to make me feel better, she knew exactly what to say… she's the one who's amazing. She puts up with my crap and she hasn't given up on me yet. I'm so glad she's in my life, I don't know what I'd do without her, she's… she's just amazing _he smiled _She's always been such a great friend. She's the best friend anyone could ever ask for… _he thought as he drifted off to sleep with a smile.

* * *

Olivia walked through her door.

_I'm glad I told Alex about what is going on with Elliot. It's not like I told her why they are getting a divorce… and she won't say anything about it. I just… I just had to tell someone, and seeing as how she already knows how I feel about him… I still can't believe she got that out of me, she's such a lawyer. _

_I do feel kind of bad about telling her though… _

_I still can't believe he's getting a divorce _a slight smile crept across her face. _Soon he will be single _she thought. Her smile faded, as she kept thinking what if_ what if they don't split up… like last time, they got back together, what if that happens again? _

With that thought all of the hope she felt was ripped away.

_But… this time it's different right? I mean Kathy cheated… there's no way they'll get back together… right?_

She sighed. _Even if they do actually get a divorce… that doesn't mean anything would happen. It's not like he'd ever see me as anything more than a friend. At least he won't be with that bitch Kathy; she doesn't deserve someone like Elliot. _

_But I still can't help but think… maybe… just maybe we may finally have a chance._

_

* * *

_

**A/N: Don't forget to review! hope you liked this chapter! :) I'll try to update soon! come say hi on twitter! (OneLife2Rock) **


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey Everyone! I'm SO sorry I haven't updated in SO long, I just had to deal with moving, and with that and school I have been extremely busy, so I haven't been able to update, but I've finally got an update for you guys! I've already got a couple chapters written, I just have to type em' up and all so I'll be updating soon I PROMISE! I'm all moved now so I won't be crazy busy anymore! So, review it, let me know what you think! **

* * *

Olivia was early today, even earlier than Elliot. She was still in a good mood, despite her pessimistic thoughts last night. She sat at her desk doing some paperwork that had piled up on her desk. She felt her phone vibrate, she looked at her phone, she had a text message… from Elliot. Her heart jumped.

_Elliot doesn't text, why the hell is he texting me? _She thought.

"Hey Liv, won't be coming in until later, meeting the Kathy & Lawyers" the text message read.

_He's meeting with Kathy and the Lawyers today? Does that mean this is really happening? They are actually going through with it? Should I say something back to him? What would I say? No, I'll just ask him how things went when I see him later. _

Cragen came out of his office

"Fin you're with Olivia for the morning, you two go see Warner, she's got something for you about the open case with the dumpster boy."

"Let's go" Fin said to Olivia.

* * *

They walked in and saw Melinda standing there waiting for them.

"So what've you got for us?" Fin asked Melinda

"Do you have an ID on the boy?" Olivia questioned eagerly.

"Not exactly, but I do have something that I think will help you with that" Melinda answered.

"Alright, let's hear it" Olivia said

"Well I was looking at an X-ray and I noticed something I didn't see at first." Melinda picked up a specimen jar with a metal object in it.

"This was in his shoulder" Melinda said

"What's that?" Fin asked.

"It's a surgical pin" Melinda said

"So?" Olivia said skeptically

"Well every surgical pin has a serial number in case of a recall. It should give us a name and what hospital it came from"

"So, you do have a name." Olivia said

"Yes, the name listed is Johnny Smith, but I have my doubts that's his actual name, it could have just been the name whoever was with him gave to the hospital." Melinda said

"Sure sounds like a fake name to me." Fin said.

"But, why would someone lie about their name? I mean I get if it's a criminal, or a con artist, but he's just a kid."

"The person he was with at the hospital could have been an abuser, or a criminal, it could have been anyone, so it's not like the child was lying, whoever he was with would have been talking to the hospital, I checked with the hospital before you both got here, they told me that they collected very little information on the boy because it was emergency surgery, and after the boy was out of surgery he disappeared from the hospital."

"Which hospital was it?" Olivia asked

"Roosevelt" Melinda answered

"Let's go see if there's anyone who can tell us anything about him at the hospital" Olivia said to Fin.

* * *

Olivia and Fin pulled up outside the hospital and got out of the car.

"So where's you're partner today" Fin asked Olivia

"He had some stuff he had to take care of, I'm pretty sure he'll be in later though." Olivia said with a slight grin.

"Some stuff huh?" Fin replied

Olivia just gave him a look, as they walked through the hospital doors.

They walked up to the desk

"Hi I'm detective Benson, this is my partner detective Tutuola, we have a few questions about a boy who received surgery here, do you recognize this boy?" Olivia asked the nurse sitting behind the desk, showing her a picture of the boy.

"Can't say I do" the nurse replied.

"What information can you give us from this?" Olivia asked holding up the jar with the surgical pin in it.

"What's that?" the nurse asked

"It's a surgical pin, out ME said you could get some info from its serial number or something" Fin said to the nurse.

"Uhm, wait here" the nurse said as she walked away taking the jar with her.

They stood around for about 20 minutes before someone came out with some papers and the jar. It was not the same nurse.

"Detectives, here is all the information about the patient and that surgical pin." The woman said handing Olivia a folder.

"Thanks" Olivia said glancing over the papers.

"It says here that a Dr. Nathan was the attending, could we speak with him?" Olivia asked

"Let me check to see if he's working today." The nurse said walking over to the desk. Olivia and Fin followed her over to the desk.

"Yes, he is working today, I'll page him for you"

The doctor walked over to the nurse's station.

"Someone paged me" he said

"Yes, these detectives would like to speak with you about a patient" the nurse said to him.

The doctor looked at the detectives.

"Hi I'm detective Tutuola, this is my partner detective Benson, now do you remember this boy?" Fin asked the doctor showing the picture of the boy.

The doctor paused for a moment "Yes, I do remember him, he had a broken shoulder, he went into surgery, came out then about an hour later he just disappeared."

"Do you remember who he was with?" Olivia asked

"Let me think…" the doctor said as he squinted his eyes. "Yes, he was with an older boy, about 5'11, mid-twenties, He said he was the boy's brother."

"Do you remember his name?" Fin asked the doctor.

"Well he claimed his name was Reed." The doctor said.

"But you didn't think that to be the case?" Olivia questioned

"Well, his younger brother kept calling him Ryan."

"Could you tell us anything else about the Ryan-Reed character?" Fin questioned.

"I remember he seemed jumpy, like he was on edge, afraid of something, definitely freaked out when his little brother called him Ryan.

"Do you remember anything else about what he looked like?" Olivia asked

"He had long blonde hair, he was wearing a gray knit cap, he was pretty scruffy looking, very thin, and that's really all I remember about him."

Thanks you've been a great help" Fin said to the doctor

"If you remember anything else. Please give us a call" Olivia said handing him her card.

* * *

Olivia and Fin walked into the prescient, Olivia was looking the room over, expecting to see Elliot. She searched the room for her partner; he didn't seem to be there.

Olivia went back to her desk to go over the mystery boy's case. She looked at the statement the doctor gave, but her mind was elsewhere.

_Why isn't Elliot here? He said he was going to be in later, and it is later. How'd the meeting with the lawyers go? Was he officially a single man? Would he even ever consider her as anything more than a colleague, or a friend? _

Unable to concentrate on the case she decided to go ask Cragen if he had heard from Elliot.

She walked over and knocked on his door and opened it. Cragen looked up from his desk at her.

"Liv, what's up?" he asked

"I was wondering if you've heard from Elliot, he told me he would be in later and I'd really like to go over the mystery boy's case with him."

"Sorry Liv, he called to say he wasn't coming in after all." Cragen said

"Oh…" she paused "Alright, I guess I'll just go over it myself" she sighed.

"You know what, why don't you go home and get some rest, you and Elliot can go over it tomorrow" Cragen said noticing Olivia was distracted.

"Thanks Captain" Olivia said turning around.

_I wonder why he decided not to come in_ she thought to herself.

_Maybe I should call him to see how the meeting went. What if him and Kathy decided not to go through with the divorce? Maybe I should stop by his place, bring some take out, and see how things went. _

And with that idea, she was off to his apartment.

* * *

**Thanks For Reading! (Not a very good chapter I know, but the next one is SO good, I promise!) Don't forget to review! **


	9. Chapter 9

**Thanks so much for reviewing and reading and all! so, here is the newest chapter! hope you like it! **

* * *

Olivia pulled up in front of Elliot's building, got out of her car and headed inside. She knocked on Elliot's door, she movement behind the door followed by a crash.

"Damn it!" she heard Elliot yell.

He opened the door; Olivia was surprised by a disheveled Elliot standing in the doorway. She could smell liquor on his breath.

"Olivia, I didn't expect you to be stopping by" he slurred.

"Have you been drinking?" Olivia questioned, already knowing the answer.

"What do you want?" Elliot ignored her question.

"I came by to see how your meeting went, and I brought some take out… but I guess I should've called first."

"You're damn right you should've." he yelled back.

Olivia looked past him noticing what a mess his apartment was.

"What the hell happened in here?" she said pushing past him

She looked around the room, there were broken dishes, broken glass, things knocked over, the place was completely torn apart.

"What the hell happened in here?" Olivia asked Elliot.

"What does it look like?" he said angrily.

"Well, it looks like you destroyed your apartment."

"Oh hey, look at that brains and beauty, great work detective." He said sarcastically.

"What the hell is your problem?"

"You" he replied.

"You know what, I don't feel like dealing with your attitude especially when you're drunk" she said walking towards the door.

_I can't believe him, giving me an attitude for no good reason_ she thought to herself as she walked out the door.

"Liv wait"

She turned around to see a remorseful Elliot; she looked into his eyes and couldn't seem to go anywhere.

"I'm sorry Liv, I shouldn't have snapped on you, it's just…" he looked down "today hasn't really been a great day" he said

"What happened?"

"The short version? Kathy got custody of the kids, I've got visitation every other weekend… I mean I can only see my kids every other weekend, what kind logic is that, she's the one who cheated she's the stupid who-"

"El, come on, she is their mother" Olivia interrupted not knowing why she was defending that bitch.

"So you're saying you agree with this arrangement? Thanks a lot Olivia, glad to know you're on my side"

"No Elliot, I'm not saying that, you know I'm always on your side, I'm just saying it's not like she's a bad mother"

"So now you're saying I'm a bad father?"

"Jesus Elliot, stop putting words in my mouth, I never said you're a bad father. I was just making the point that Kathy may be a lot of things but she's a pretty good mother."

"What about me Liv, do you think I'm a good father?" Elliot asked slightly afraid of what her answer might be.

"Are you kidding me?" Olivia said without hesitation "El, I've seen you with your kids, I think you are truly the best father any kid could have," he said with a smile.

Elliot smiled, "Thanks Liv… and again I'm sorry."

Olivia got up "It's fine El, now let me help you clean this place up," Olivia said starting to pick up broken pieces of what appeared to be dishes.

"No it's fine" Elliot said getting up and walking towards her, "You don't have to –" he was interrupted by a piece of junk on the floor causing him to trip and fall, knocking Olivia down with him.

They looked at each other and started laughing.

Elliot got up and offered his hand to Olivia, "sorry," he laughed pulling her up off the ground.

"It's alright" she said still laughing.

"How about you just sit down, and I'll clean up a bit so you don't kill us both," she said with a smirk.

Elliot plopped down onto the couch deciding it was best to listen to Olivia.

Olivia went around his place with a trash can throwing away broken pieces of dishes or glass or whatever else trash she found.

_I can't believe El did this to his place, I mean sure he has anger issues, but this is just chaos. _

She looked over at Elliot he was sitting there quietly just staring off into the distance.

_He's so amazing, how could Kathy do something like this to him? God she's dumb.. I would never hurt him like this, I love-" _

"Olivia Benson" Elliot yelled at her with a laugh "What's on your mind?"

"Huh?" she said coming out of her deep train of thought.

"Wutcha thinking about, I can tell something's on your mind"

Olivia hadn't realized she'd stopped cleaning and was just standing there staring off into space

"Oh, uh, nothing really, I was just thinking about that little boy's case" she lied.

"You sure that's it?" He asked, even intoxicated he could still tell when something was on her mind.

"Yeah" Olivia replied looking around the room. "Alright, I think I've gotten most of the dangerous stuff, just be careful." She said sitting down on the other end of the couch.

Elliot looked at her and smiled "Thanks Liv, for everything… I don't deserve to have someone as great as you in my life." He said standing up to walk across the room.

_Why is she so patient with me? Why is she so… amazing. I'll never understand why she puts up with me… maybe it's pity… yeah that must be it. _He thought to himself.

"El" he felt a hand on his shoulder, he turned around to face Olivia.

Olivia looked into Elliot's beautiful blue eyes, they had tears in them, his tears surprised Olivia, she never saw Elliot like this.

"You deserve the best El, and I'm not nearly that, but I'll **always **be here for you no matter what happens. You're my partner, I trust you with my life on a daily basis and yes sometimes you get on my last never but… I can't imagine my life without you." Olivia said tearing up a bit herself.

"Liv, you are the best." He said staring into her brown eyes.

He glanced down at her lips, then back into her eyes, he gently brushed a piece of hair out of her face and slowly leaned in towards her.

_Is this really happening? _She thought as she felt his lips press gently against hers.

* * *

**Okay! don't hate me too much for the cliff-hangery part! What'll happen next? hmmm! don't forget to review! hope you liked it! thanks for reading! **


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: so sorry it's been so long since I updated. won't make excuses, but here is the next chapter, it's really short.. sorry! but I've already got the next chapter all ready (just needs to be typed up).. I was going to combine them.. but figured they'd be better separate. I'll post a bit of what happened in the previous chapter, since it's been so long! again thank you to everyone who reviews and reads it! hope you don't hate me for not updating! in this.. I used their different perspectives on the same situation, marked it by using their names.. I think it's pretty clear (I hope)! if you have any questions feel free to ask! tried to make it as clear as possible! **

* * *

_Previously_

_"Liv, you are the best." He said staring into her brown eyes._

_ He glanced down at her lips, then back into her eyes, he gently brushed a piece of hair out of her face and slowly leaned in towards her._

_ Is this really happening? She thought as she felt his lips press gently against hers. _

* * *

Quickly, realizing what was happening she tore away from him before the gentle kiss turned into anything more serious. She was afraid that if she didn't stop herself now, she wouldn't be able to do so.

_I can't do this, not like this, he doesn't want me… he's just upset.. and drunk, he's just seeking some sort of comfort, and I just happen to be a convenient source. she thought to herself as she was tearing herself away from Elliot's amazingly soft lips. _

Elliot looked at her, noticing the look of horror on her face.

"Oh god, Olivia, I'm so sorry, I don't know why I… I didn't mean to… I mean… I don't… you're just my… I would never…" Elliot stuttered not able to complete a thought.

Olivia instantly knew what he was trying to get out, exactly what she had always known… It hurt more to hear him say it, or attempt to say it, than she thought it would.

"I, uh, I think I should go." Olivia said

Before Elliot could say anything she was out the door.

* * *

**_Olivia_**

Olivia ran down the stairs, practically sprinting to her car. She quickly opened her car door and rested her head against the steering wheel.

_What just happened? Did Elliot really just kiss me… what's going to happen next.. does he… _she put her face in her hands and shook her head_._

_No Olivia he doesn't want you, he made that perfectly clear, he just had too much to drink was upset… and just needed someone, it could have been __anyone… right? … oh god… she thought to herself before starting her car and driving off._

* * *

**_Elliot_**

Elliot watched as Olivia fled from his apartment slamming the door shut on the way out.

_What the hell did I just do? _Elliot thought to himself, still standing where she had left him.

_Why did I kiss Olivia?... She's nothing but great to me, and what do I do? Freak her out by kissing her. I mean she looked horrified… why the hell did I kiss her? She's my best friend, my partner, I don't.. I mean I couldn't… it's Liv, no way. He thought shaking his dead at the idea. He couldn't have feelings for Olivia, he just couldn't. _

He walked into his room and layed down staring at the ceiling trying to grasp the reality of what had just happened.

* * *

**Hope you liked it! next chapter will be up soon! I promise! Don't forget to review, pleaseee. thank youu for reading! :)**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: thanks to everyone who's reading! so.. yup! here's the newest chapter! hope you like it! **

* * *

Alex was woken up by the sound of pounding on her door.

_What the hell, who would be at my door at 1:00 in the morning? _She thought to herself as she got up, grabbing her bathrobe shuffling towards her door.

"Who's there" she yelled groggily

"Alex, open up" Alex instantly recognized Olivia's voice on the other side of her door.

Alex opened the door to see a disheveled Olivia standing in front of her.

"Olivia what are you doing here? It's…"

"I know what time it is" Olivia interrupted her pushing past her " I'm sorry, I just needed to talk to someone about what just happened, and I didn't know who else to go to"

Alex looked at her friend's shaking hands, and confused look on her face. Alex sighed, "Come on, let's go sit down" she said realizing that Olivia wouldn't have bothered her if it hadn't have been important.

They walked into the living room,

"Here sit down, do you want anything to drink?" Alex asked politely.

"Uh, yeah actually some water would be great if you don't mind" Olivia replied

"Ugh! I guess if you really MUST have some water, I could spare some" Alex laughed.

Olivia just rolled her eyes at Alex's sarcasm.

"I'll be right back" Alex said as she turned towards the kitchen.

_Olivia never acts like this, something has got to be wrong, I hope it's nothing to serious… something's obviously got her shaken. _Alex thought to herself a bit nervous about Olivia's actions.

Alex walked into the living room holding two glasses of water, she sat down next to Olivia and handed her the glass of water. Olivia just sat there silently for a few minutes. Finally Alex spoke " Olivia, what happened?" she said, her concern growing.

"Well… I went to see Elliot and…" Olivia stopped; she didn't know how to say it.

"And…?" Alex prodded

"He was drunk and…" Olivia stopped again; hanging her head she rubbed her temples.

"And… what happened?" Alex said staring at Olivia.

"He kissed me…" Olivia whispered, not daring to look up at Alex.

"HE WHAT?" Alex shouted as her jaw dropped practically down to the floor, "Did I hear you correctly, Elliot… Elliot Stabler, kissed you?"

"Yes" Olivia whispered, still not looking up.

"SEE! I told you he loves you!" she yelled as she shook Olivia's shoulder.

Olivia couldn't help but laugh at her friend's response; she looked up to see a absolutely gleeful Alex. "No, he doesn't love me, he just had too much to drink and was upset and –"

"Blah, blah, blah!" Alex interrupted "you know what they say, drunk words, sober thoughts" Alex said raising an eyebrow.

"Oh shut up!" Olivia rolled her eyes

"Alright.. Alright… So, what happened after he kissed you?"

"I… I left."

"What? You just left!"

"Well.. I pulled away from him and –"

"Whoa whoa whoa, wait a minute, you pulled away?"

"Yeah" Olivia looked down

"So the man you love –"

"I don't love him!" Olivia interrupted

"Yeah, yeah, sure you don't. So the man you love is kissing you, and you pull away from him, why the hell would you do that? You wanted that to happen for HOW long? Be honest"

"Not like that, I mean he didn't really want to kiss me, anyone could tell that from the look on his face afterword. He looked… horrified, he made it perfectly clear just with that look that he doesn't have any sort of feelings for me" Olivia snapped at Alex.

"Calm down Olivia"

"CALM DOWN! How am I supposed to calm down? What if this ruined our friendship? What if he knows how I feel now? If the kiss didn't ruin our friendship that sure as hell will." Olivia said sounding slightly panicked.

"Come on now, everything will be fine, you know nothing can keep the two of you apart, and I'm sure he doesn't have any idea about the fact that you love him" Alex smiled

Olivia shot Alex a look, then sighed, "Well I hope you're right."

* * *

**Don't forget to review :D please and thank you! **


End file.
